Signs Your Dog Is Upset with You

Signs Your Dog Is Upset with You

Is Fido fed up with your shenanigans? If he/she was, would you know how to recognize it? If you’re assuming that a dog who isn’t barking or whining is always happy, you may be missing out on your dog’s most vital emotional cues.

For as much as our dogs love us, we can occasionally frustrate, frighten, or upset them, too. Dogs can’t speak; unlike humans, they can’t just come out and tell you that they don’t care for the way you’re petting them, nor can they tell you they’re hurting, sick, or frightened of a loud noise in words. Furthermore, your dog’s brain doesn’t process emotion in the same way as you do; instead, they react instinctually with aggression, anxiety, or depression through body language. Thus, owners can interpret “upset” as many different behaviors depending on the dog.

Canine body language isn’t always straightforward. Signs of all three abovementioned emotions can range from obvious to incredibly subtle. You should never assume that a quiet dog is always happy; doing so places both you and your dog at increased risk for adverse events (like fear-induced bites). Learning what to look for and how to spot subtle signs of anxiety, fear, stress, or aggression is the key to preventing these unfortunate incidents.

Avoiding Eye Contact

When you look at your dog, does he briefly make eye contact and then look away? Or does he refuse to make eye contact with you at all? The first is preferable; this is the canine way of acknowledging your presence and deferring dominance to you. When he does this, he’s telling you, “Hello; I’m comfortable with you but I recognize that you’re the boss.”

If, however, your dog immediately looks away and/or refuses to make eye contact with you at all, he may be feeling intimidated or afraid of you. This is a common behavior for shelter dogs and rescue dogs coming from stressful situations of abuse. In these dogs, even attempting to force eye contact results in them shying away, resisting, and sometimes, dropping their heads down to look at the floor.

If you have a dog that never makes eye contact, you should address his confidence issues through behavioral management and training. In advanced cases, an appointment with a professional behavioral specialist may be best.

Licking, Licking & Licking….

The occasional grooming session is just your dog’s way of keeping his hair or fur neat, tidy, and clean. But when your pup starts to go overboard, especially in situations that are new, stressful, or challenging, that licking could very well point to the fact that your dog doesn’t appreciate you bringing him/her into the situation.

Nervous lickers may run their tongues around their muzzles, a sign that’s meant to say, “Hey! I’m uncomfortable, nervous, or upset. Let’s calm down and be okay again.” Or, they may chew away at certain areas of the body instead (most commonly the paws, shoulders, or groin). If the situation escalates far enough, the behavior can even become compulsive and may lead to infections or hotspots.

Determining whether your dog’s licking represents his/her anxiety isn’t always easy; obsessive licking can, in some cases, point to underlying skin conditions and even neuropathies. Start by looking for other signs of anxiety or aggression and then follow up with your vet to rule out physical health concerns.

If you determine that licking is related to your dog’s emotion, distraction is key; break the behavior with treats, a beloved toy, or affection and continue to work on his/her confidence. Some dogs also benefit from medications for canine anxiety, but this is typically a last resort approach.

Stiff, Still & Prepared for Trouble

Do something to your dog that he really doesn’t appreciate and you may find that he’s suddenly gone completely still. This position is a pre-aggression warning that your dog has had enough. It differs from simply standing motionless in that the muscles along the sides, back, and shoulders often become stiff and rigid to the touch.

This is not to be confused with alertness, where the dog stands upright with a raised head, curious stare, and perked-up ears; if your dog does this, he’s not upset, he’s interested in something (often whatever he’s staring at).

It’s very common for dogs to go stiff in situations where they’re unsure. Grooming, vet visits, meeting new pups, and encountering strange people or objects may trigger this response. Likewise, this is fairly common when you bring a new pet or baby home.

If your dog displays this symptom, either take him/her to a safe, quiet place or back off immediately and give your dog time to calm down. Forcing a dog past this point is risky; it can lead to lunges, bites, and injuries, both on your part and his.

Demonstrating “Whale Eye”

Some of the ways your dog communicates with you are incredibly subtle. In fact, if you’re not sure what to look for, you can and often will miss them entirely. This is one of the biggest contributors to canine behavior problems; owners miss the early signs of a developing problem until the dog suddenly and surprisingly bites.

The problem isn’t a dog who suddenly snaps, it’s humans who failed to recognize the subtle signs that were present all along. Whale eye is just one example of this subtlety.

If you’ve ever watched your dog widen his/her eyes until you can see the whites around at least 3/4 of the eye, you’ve experienced whale eye first-hand. It is often mistaken for the wide, focused eyes of excitement, but differs in that you can see much more of the whites than with a relaxed, alert gaze.

As a behavioral sign, whale eye is your dog’s way of saying that he/she is uncomfortable with whatever you are doing. Dogs often present whale eye while looking at you with the head tucked down and/or from only one side of the face (side eye).

When your dog demonstrates whale eye, immediately assess the situation. Are you petting your dog in a way he/she doesn’t like? Is your dog sore or sick? Is your dog guarding food or a toy? Are you in a potentially overwhelming situation (at the vet, at the park, in a crowd, etc.)? Once you determine what could possibly be making your dog upset, you can make a decision as to whether you need to remove him/her from the situation or seek veterinary care.

When Your Dog Isn’t “Upset At You”

Just as important in this conversation is discussing when your dog isn’t upset at you, even if it might seem like he/she is. Humans have a propensity to anthropomorphize their dogs; this means they project emotion onto them even if the dog is theoretically incapable of feeling that emotion in the same way.

One excellent example of mistaken anthropomorphization is when a dog destroys items within the home or urinates inappropriately in the home, especially after they were chastised or “grounded” to their kennel for bad behavior. Coming home the next day can make it seem as if the dog was reacting to the discipline, but realistically, the two events almost always have very little to do with one another.

Instead, your dog’s destructive behavior is far more likely to be caused by excess energy, boredom, too little stimulation, or separation anxiety during the day. And inappropriate urination or defecation? That can be anything from physical illness to simply being indoors too long.

Similarly, a dog who growls, barks, and whines while wrestling with another canine best friend (or in some cases, you) isn’t necessarily upset, either. These are common play behaviors that should be monitored, but don’t assume they mean your dog is always upset.

Look for play-related behaviors like the play bow during sessions to confirm that your dog is feeling positive, and if he/she seems to be escalating and getting more aggressive, take a break. Just like children, play can sometimes get out of hand.

Your dog is your best friend; always by your side, loyal, and happy to spend time with you. But your dog also has his/her own personality that may include certain likes, dislikes, and responses. While dogs don’t generally get upset at people, they certainly can become uncomfortable, scared, or aggressive in certain situations. If you’re struggling with your pup’s behavior, one of the best decisions you can make for the both of you is to try a few sessions with a trainer. Most of the issues listed above are easily rectified through training and confidence-boosting exercises.